I once met a man who had two wives and several concubines and still when a lady was given to him in the village, he collected her gladly like a trophy. In my deepest thought, I wonder what the use of the latest arrival was. If you’ve never heard or read that in African, daughters are given as gifts, well listen up.

The arrangement varies. It might be two old friends who want to strengthen their bonds of friendship and to archive this, one gives away his daughter to the other as a wife even if he has lots of wives already. It is not in the making of the lady to decide if she will marry him or not, the decision has already been made and it is final.
A girl may also be given to a man as a debt paid. If the family of the lady is indebted to this man, they may choose to pay him off by giving away their daughter and other times as a favour for the help rendered. In all, a beautiful maiden is shipped away to another man’s town, community, clan, and family where she has little or no knowledge about. But the question on my mind is this. Why do these men accept this form of gifts? Is it for SEX?
Over the years young female children are being given out to older men for marriage. Some are even sold. Is there no value for the female child apart from being a commodity? What pleasures do older men derive having sex with a teen? I can just wrap my head around it.
African culture did not state how many wives a man can have, neither did they insist that a man should marry one wife but the question is, who takes care of these wives? children? is it society? Because of more wives, more children. which will amount to large expenses. I believe they don’t think about this.
This type of affair is popular among the northerners in Nigeria. This is not to say that other tribes do not participate in this illicit affair, but the northerners have the highest number of child sex.
I may be wrong and I stand to be enlightened. What is it about sex that a man cannot seem to be satisfied with one, two, three, four women at his disposal but still need a fifth and a sixth and seventh and only heavens knows when the list will end?

As a young girl, I wondered why a man will acquire so many women and am still wondering, so please help me find an answer.

Let’s assume the first was not good on the bed – what about the second, still terrible or the third, that you have to keep taking in more women.

Ine woman is a lot to deal with already and then when something goes wrong you come up to say, Oh she is a shameless woman, she is selfish- she wants the man to herself (is it wrong for her to want the man to herself?) she is jealous and envious and a whole lot of crab.

Do you ever stop to consider how these women feel, how much pain you have brought on them, or how terrible and horrifying it has been living in your home with insecurities year after year? I don’t think you do in as much you are satisfied with whatever you are looking for.

Sometimes I think religion has a role to play in this. The lady caught in the act of adultery in the bible is one story that makes me ponder the stands of religion.

Two people were caught in an act: one was brought out to be stoned to death…please where is or was the man? or did she commit the act herself? Again women are at the loosing and bitter end.

Oh my God, that lady was raped! What was she doing out at that time of the day, why did she go and visit him, why was she putting on such clothes? That is the statement some people make when they hear such news.

Even if the odds where wrong, is that a moral justification for her to be treated as such? Who got stoned first, the woman yet again.

The traditional African religion makes matters worst because every man is a product of his religion. Women are always at the receiving end.

when matters arising to sexual desires area concern. A woman is not allowed to feel any sexual entitlement, anything she receives from her man or should I say the man because I can’t tell who he belongs to; let her accept it with pride and honour.

The man nevertheless, is allowed to go on having fun with as many women as he desires, Who can question him or cast a stone at him? Nobody – because his actions are justified up to this present age.

There are lots of discussions, gatherings, and bodies addressing this issue as to the place of a woman in society. That woman should be given equal opportunities as the men, but some minds still believe a woman is a second class citizen and so should be treated as such.

All she has to dream about is to satisfy her man in every way possible. I am not saying it is wrong for a woman to look after her man in sexually, socially, spiritually and otherwise. What I am agitating for is for men to stop treating women like a commodity they acquired.

Give them the respect, love and trust they deserve. If you don’t like it when she calls you a foolish man, then don’t call her a stupid woman.

If you don’t want her to raise her voice, then don’t raise yours. She is as much a human like you. So she deserves respect too.

When you keep pouring hate into someone, that’s all you are ever going to get but if you put love, then love it shall be. No woman wants to be stoned anymore.

So please tell us what can be done to satisfy you, so you won’t have sex on the street even if it’s offered to you on a platter of gold.

You can say no to these offers and let whoever cares to listen that you have a beautiful, gorgeous and outstanding personality by your side already.

Also, enlighten the people involve; show them the way to value a daughter and she will become a bride and pride to look upon.

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  1. Unknown

    It all boils down to sin.

    1. Dolor Abigail

      Do you really think is sin? Or lost and greed.

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