Affection is express in diverse and unique ways but how well do they interpret the love languages?
Love is like young rice: transplanted, still, it grows. (Malagasy proverb)
What is the meaning of love?
A lot of times the word love/ am in love is usually employed but what is the meaning of love and how do we speak these love languages?
According to the Oxford dictionary, love is an intense feeling of deep affection – great interest and pleasure in something.
Welcome everyone to another adventurous time. Today, we will take a glimpse at the love languages of some African countries and some spicy love quotes.
Five Love languages by Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman the author of the book “the five love languages” said that there are certain ways we express love.
Each of us has a unique manner we express and receive love. This method is called love languages.
He further said that if the right love language is applied, lovers will understand each other better and there will be fewer differences between the two.
These languages are as follow…
Words of Affirmation
Arts of Service
1. Words of Affirmation: when you give much importance to verbal way of accepting affection, then your love language is the word of affirmation.
People who love when you shower them with words as I love you, honey you are looking gorgeous, what a nice shoe. Falls under this category but can one have more than one love language? Let’s find out.
2. Quality Time: when I say, you hardly spend time with me does not mean you do no sit and talk. What I need is quality time.
If you are like me that always wants to see a movie with my hubby, hold hands to the park, dance together, then you belong to this group.
When you prefer close contact with your partner, his/her undivided attention when you talk, your love language might be just this. Quality time.
3. Arts of Service: If helping you do wash the dishes, do the laundry and bath the kids gives you a good feeling, then the art of service is your love language.
Some men/women do not like to do a house chore so if either partner do the chores without complaining and loves it when it is done for them, then this might just be their love language.
These people believe action speaks louder. If you love me, then do that which makes life easy and comfortable for me. Like bringing me tea on the bed when am sick, carrying the baby when being busy and going out of your way to getting the groceries.
4. Gifts: Some people just love it when you give gifts. You speak the language of the soul when you buy gifts.
This season, why a lot of people are expecting gifts from their love ones, others do not mind.
If you buy a gift, I will accept and if you do not buy, I will also accept and not feel bad. The reason why I am indifferent is that this is not my love language.
For those whose gift is their love language, gifting will always make them feel happy and much loved.
5. Physical Touch: This applies to people who like kissing, cuddle and sex. Touch goes a long way to speak the language of this set.
Why there are people that like a lot of touching, others do not.
Sex is one major aspect of a relationship and this has to do with physical touch. Intimacy is at the height at this point.
Now and then, we all love this language but not so much as others who feel this is the best way to show that you love them.
African’s Ways of Expressing Love
The way Africans express love is different from the western. Do we show love? I will say this is more of the women.
Men in Africa do not show physical emotions. It is considered to be a weakness.
Nevertheless, we do have our special way of showing the one will are attracted to that we care.
Each African country has a unique method. Let’s take a look at some of them.
In South Africa, when a female has affection for a male, she makes him an ucus – love letters made from bright and colourful beads.
Beads are of utmost importance in the African culture and each colour signifies a thing. The colours of each bead have a positive and negative side.
Black represents Marriage, rebirth death…
Yellow represents Wealth, garden, hunger…
Pink represents: Promise, high dignity, want…
Red represents: love and strong emotions
White represents spirituality and purity.
So if I am a young female from the Zulu tribe in South African, and I want to express my likeness for a man, I will go for red and yellow.
Sometimes, the man might not understand the representation of each bead but with the help of his sister, it is a goal.
In this part of the country, a woman proofs her love to her husband by giving a relative of hers to him for marriage.
The relative can be a junior sister, cousin, niece, nephew, you name it. As long as they are related in one way, the person is right for her husband.
This is interesting. Before, I never knew this was a cultural practice until I did my research. What is the reason behind this culture?
One, if a woman was dying from a chronic disease, she will ask her younger one to take care of her kids and her husband.
Without saying it word for word, she is requesting for her sister to marry her husband.
Also if the lady is barren, she will be advised to take her sister to her husband to bear children.
Another interesting love language of these people is that for a man to prove he loves his wife, he should beat her.
Can you imagine?
Do I have to be beaten to show that am loved? Well, this is not for me. Unfortunately, some ladies still believe in this even in this present age.
My junior sister will say ” he loves me that’s why he is beating me” and am like WTF. Where in God’s name did you get that idea?
In Uganda, if a man is interested in a lady, there are three things he must do. This, however, depends on the tribe.
When you see a girl you like, the first thing you should do is to play a song for the lady with Uganda’s violin.
Later on, he sings a song for her in their local dialect in the presence of all. If she still does not agree a dance is performed.
This dance is called the ORUNYEGE dance. The man must show is excellence in this dance.
During the performance, he attempts to hold his love, but she will refuse. He will try so many times but still no success.
He will then meet his friends for help. Together, they will dance towards the maiden and try to convince her.
This process goes on for a while until she accepts his love.
To show that she has accepted his love, she will let in wear her a waist bead while kneeling. After that, they would both dance of acceptance.
This is the love language in Uganda. Is this not beautiful?
In Nigeria, because of the diversity of cultures, we can not give accurate tale as regards to the love language. There are, however, some practice have picked up from my parents.
If he is a hunter, he brings some bush meat for the lady and showers her with nice words.
If she is interested, they go to the stream together/ sit under a big fruit tree away from the eyes of others.
They do this at intervals until the man makes his intentions known to the girls family.
You should know that African men do not believe in showing emotions. So when an African man helps in the house, there is a 60% chance he loves you.
African Quotes About Love
Love never gets lost it’s only kept. (African)
A love one has no pimples. ( Kenya)
Dine with a stranger but save your love for your family. ( Ethiopian)
The quarrel of lovers is the renewal of love. ( Moroccan)
A happy man marries the girl he loves but a happier man loves the girl he marries. (African)
If the full moon loves you while worry about the stars? ( Tunisia)
If love is a sickness, patience is the remedy. ( Cameroonian)
To love someone who does not love you is like shaking a tree to make the dew drops fall. ( Congo)
Don’t try to make somebody hates the one he loves, for he will still go on loving and hate you. ( Senegalese)